Marriage; It takes two.

It seems like almost every time I get on my Facebook, there is a post about someone’s marriage ending, or someone complaining about their husband or wife, putting the blame on the other one, blah, blah, blah.  Well, I’m here to put my two cents in about the matter, and to brag (of course!).

If you don’t think that you can put up  with the other person for the rest of your life, through the good times, and the horrible times then don’t waste their time or yours saying “I do.”  I hear a lot of people badmouth what the other one has done, or hasn’t done.  In my head all I can think about is, it takes two people to make a marriage work.  Not just one.  If both of you aren’t trying, then why are you married?  That’s not a marriage.

No marriage is perfect.  Every couple will always have their ups and downs.  That’s not what I’m trying to say here.  What I’m trying to say is that you have to be a team and work together.

Lucky for me, I have an amazing husband who is also an amazing father.  Want to know how we do it?  Communication.  We talk CONSTANTLY.  We both work, almost everyday.  I’m at home more often since I am only part time right now due to the pregnancy.  We call each other at least once a day just to say I love you and see how our days are going.  We help each other.  Just because I am wife and mom, doesn’t mean that he expects me to be the sole caretaker of our home and our daughter.  He gets two days off a week, and on his days off, he cleans , cooks supper, gives our daughter her bath and also takes care of me, letting me relax.  Even when he gets home after a long day of work, he asks me if I need anything, and he will help me clean up after supper.  Now, I do believe that the husband eats first.  I’ve always believed that.  The way we do it though, since he doesn’t get home until after 7 on the weekdays, and our daughter is already asleep by then, I feed her supper and I wait until he gets home so we can both eat together.  I love our quality time eating supper together, we get to talk all about our day.  On days that he’s off work, I fix our daughter’s plate and let it cool off, have him fix his, then I feed our daughter and then fix me a plate while he keeps her entertained.  This works for us.  It may not work for anyone else, but that’s what we do.

For me, the key to a great marriage is communication and being a team.  WORK TOGETHER.  Social media gets in the way and causes problems, because people tend to lean towards facebook to post all of their problems and that causes drama in a relationship.  Talk it out to one another, don’t post it for everyone else to see.  To me, that’s disrespectful and hurtful.  But of course, that’s just my opinion!

Not Enough Hours In The Day

Work all day, come home to a dirty house so I need to get that clean, cook supper, feed my daughter then get her cleaned up and ready for bed, bedtime routine for her, then work on schoolwork until my husband gets home, eat supper with him, spend some time with him, then bedtime and do it all over again.

Days seem like they just keep getting shorter, there is not enough time in the day to get anything that I would like done.  I love to journal, but I maybe write in my journal once or twice every FEW weeks. Why?  ‘Cause I barely have enough time to take a shower, let alone try to write in my journal.

My house is a disaster, not because I want it to be.  Haha.  I hate looking at a mess.  But when you’re 7 weeks pregnant, work all day, and then have to get your 9 month old from daycare and entertain her until bedtime, you’re whooped when it comes time to clean the house.  Some days I honestly think about hiring a housekeeper for once a week, then I think, no, I don’t have the money for that, and I don’t want to feel that lazy.

So today, I’ve made a plan to sit down, separate all the chores out, look at my work and school schedule, and figure out a way to make it work where my house doesn’t look like a tornado hit it 24/7 and I’m always behind on my schoolwork.

Now, we have two house dogs, and so throwing them in the mix, lol.  They are spiteful when my husband and I go to work and will chew up any garbage that is left sitting out, so if I am rushing around in the morning before leaving for work and forget to pick up stuff, you know what I’m going to find when I get home… garbage all over my living room and hallway.  Hopefully my husband will remember to close the bedroom and bathroom door before he leaves for work so that I don’t have to worry about garbage being everywhere in those rooms, too.

Life is just hectic, and I know it always will be.  But, there has to be some kind of way to get it to slow down so I can catch my breath and make my house look good.  Haha. Like that is actually going to happen.  I can always dream, right?

If anyone has any suggestions on how to manage everything, I’d be highly interested.  I am always on pinterest trying to find new ways to schedule stuff in so I can get more done in the day, but with this pregnancy, I am extremely tired and just have to push myself to even get out of bed at any point in the day.

My Experience with PPD

Since May is Postpartum Depression Awareness Month, I thought that I would share my own story and my experience with PPD.

As you all know, my labor with Elizabeth did not go as planned.  My pregnancy was great, I was so in love with my child that I was carrying, and I couldn’t wait to meet her.  I had my birth plan all done, and planned the way that I wanted it.  Well, it didn’t work out that way.  I had started contracting between 33-35 weeks, staying 2-3 minutes apart.  But I was only dilating as far as a 2.  So when I was 39 weeks and 1 day, they induced me. I was thinking that it was going to go quick, and I would be holding my precious baby in my arms the next day.  Boy, was I wrong.  I went in on Monday to be induced, and I didn’t have her until Wednesday evening.  I was in labor for 46 hours, and I was in horrible pain.  They gave me my epidural too early, and it stopped working 4-5 hours before I had Elizabeth.  So I had no medicine when it was time to push, and when she was born and when the doctor was stitching me.  But by the time she was stitching me, I was so in awe of my perfect little baby that I didn’t care about the pain that was going on down there.

I wanted to breastfeed, but Elizabeth was having a hard time latching, so we were having to supplement with formula because she wouldn’t quit screaming when we would try to latch her so she could eat.  And I was just so exhausted that I didn’t even want to bother with it.  By the time we left the hospital though, she would latch for a few minutes to breastfeed, and that to me, was better than nothing, so I had started pumping too.

The second day at home, she started feeling really warm, so I checked her temperature rectally, and it was 100.8.  I didn’t freak out at that time, I stayed calm and took her clothes off and waiting 5 minutes.  Took her temperature again, and it was the same.  So I called the doctor, and she sent us to the emergency room.  Well, the emergency room sent us by ambulance to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.  Imagine, my daughter is only 3 days old, being rushed to Vanderbilt in an ambulance, looking helpless in her carseat, and I couldn’t do anything.  When we got to Vanderbilt, they rushed me and Dustin out of the room so that they could do tests, and we weren’t allowed to be in there.  By that time I was freaking out and I couldn’t stop crying.  I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know what was going on with my baby girl.  Finally, they let us back there to be with her, and I decided that I would try to relax her by breastfeeding, well, she wouldn’t latch at all, and it was that time that my milk would decide to come in, so I was covered in breastmilk, and didn’t have any change of clothes or anything because we didn’t even think to pack anything to take to the hospital except for her diaper bag.  We stayed at the hospital for 4 days and 3 nights and we had to fight them to let us go home.  I was getting extremely sick from just having her, I was so swollen that I could barely move.  I was pumping, and at that time I was doing great at pumping enough for her.  We got home, and I continued pumping for a week or two, then she got to where she wanted more, and I just couldn’t keep up.  I wound up just putting her completely on formula, and as upset as I was that she wasn’t on breastmilk anymore, formula was the best decision for our daughter.

A couple days after we had gotten home from Vanderbilt, Dustin had to go back to work.  He worked thirds at a factory.  I was doing alright, Elizabeth was pretty much on a schedule at night of waking up every 4 hours to eat and get a diaper change.  I thought that I was doing great.  Then one day, Dustin came up to me and asked me “why is she always in her swing during the day?”  I realized that right after I would change her, or feed her, I would put her right back in her swing instead of enjoying the time cuddling with my baby.  I didn’t want to hold her, and I didn’t want to clean the house.  I just wanted to lay on the couch and sleep.  I barely ate.  I worried mainly about her and Dustin eating and I didn’t care about myself.  I didn’t care to take a shower, or anything.  I was getting such bad migraines that I just wanted to crawl in a hole and never leave.  So my 6 weeks postpartum appointment, I talked to my doctor about what Dustin had mentioned to me, and she said that it seemed like I was going through PPD and she put me on some anti depressants.  Well, that didn’t work.  I went that whole month just getting worse.  When I went back she changed my medicine, and changed my diet regimen, and I got better every day.

I still live with it, some days are better than others.  I still take my anti depressant, and lucky for me, I am on one that is safe for pregnancy.  I am continuously doing my research on PPD so that way with this baby, I can look for signs and hopefully I won’t fall as deep as I did with Elizabeth.

So that’s my story.  I would love to hear some other momma’s stories if you don’t care to share!  Remember, we’re all in this together, no one is perfect.

Now Welcoming…

BABY HAGGARD #2!!!!!!

We just found out this past week that we are expecting our second baby!  We are so excited.  I found out early, so I will be 5 weeks tomorrow May 16.  Baby Haggard is due January 2019.  My first doctor appointment isn’t until May 31.

Elizabeth will be 9 months old on the 23rd.  She now has 6 teeth , and is trying to walk.  She can grab ahold of anything and pull herself up, and we just had to lower her mattress in her crib because she was trying to climb out.  Our silly girl.  She is learning so fast.

So, Mother’s Day was this past Sunday.  Last year I made a Mother’s Day post, but I didn’t get to this year.  Life stays so hectic now.  I had a great Mother’s Day.  Dustin bought me a necklace with three hearts (for him, Elizabeth, and Baby Haggard), an ice cream maker, and some new oven mitts and pot holders.  My mom got me a jewelry set with Elizabeth’s birthstone.  Then at church all the women got umbrellas, and our nursery teacher got me a cute book.  I am so lucky to have such amazing mother’s in my life that are helping me and that have helped me on my journey through motherhood.  I am so blessed.

I am continuously getting further through my college career.  I have 34.5 credits right now.  Out of 90 I think.  I’m so proud of myself for getting this far with everything that has been going on.

I am so nervous about having babies so close in age.  Elizabeth will be 18 months old when this baby is born.  I am happy, but scared.  I’m worried I’m not going to be the best mother.  That I’m not going to be able to give them both the attention that they deserve.  I just got a book off of amazon called Twice Blessed that is supposed to be about how to handle your family becoming a family of four.  If anyone has any advice, PLEASE  share with me before I become a nervous wreck.

We don’t get to go to church a lot anymore because of my work hours, so I try to do my own studies at home.  I just got a pregnancy devotional journal.  It starts at 5 weeks and goes all the way to your birth story.  It was worth the money, even though it wasn’t a lot.  I honestly wasn’t expecting anything like what I have received.

I’m still into the young living essential oils, I’m trying to make time for them, it’s just taking a while to manage my time.  I have so much going on, that those are honestly one of the last things on my mind.

I have had my blog for a year now!  I’m so excited!  I’m proud that I have kept it up this long.  I know I don’t post as much as I would like on here, and I promise to change that.  I promise to try to post once a week, if possible.  If not, at least once every two weeks.

Always Remember: Where There is Rain, There is a Rainbow

The past month, maybe longer, has been super hectic.  I’ve had somedays where I have to sit back and just stop what I’m doing and relax, which is really hard for me because I just want to go, go, go.  With school, work, Elizabeth, and my normal wifely(house) duties *lol*, my life is BEYOND hectic.  This post may make some people mad, because I’m going to be real with everyone today.  I know I have made a post about mom shaming already, and this isn’t going to be a post like that.  Part of this post is going to touch on judgmental mothers.  Something that there is too much of.  But I will get back to that later.

I have been working my a$$ off recently at school and at work, and guess what?  All that hard work pays off.  I have made the Dean’s List for every class I have taken so far, and I have received a raise at work!  I’m contemplating asking for more hours, but I would have to sit down with my schedule first and ask myself where I would have the time and try to make time for the rest of my busy life.  Pinterest has been helping me a lot lately, being a working mom.  My house is a disaster area.  I keep the living room and the kitchen and Elizabeth’s room clean.  Our bedroom and our bathroom are horrible right now because I just don’t have the time.  But I keep laundry and dishes done, and as of now, that’s all I’m worried with .  We are still being overran with ants, but I’m working on that problem.  It is slowly getting better.  I’ve been able to read a lot more than normal.  I’ve been taking at least an hour to myself a day, whenever Elizabeth goes to bed.  During that time, I read, and I do some bible study.  I also try to do a lot of reading on my weekends.

Elizabeth turned 8 months old yesterday.  8 MONTHS OLD?!?!  Where did my newborn baby go??  I can’t believe she is already 8 months.  She is trying to crawl, and she’s trying to talk.  She loves any kind of food you give her, but she absolutely loves graham crackers and strawberry apple puffs.  She sleeps in her crib all night, only waking up once, maybe twice for a bottle.  The transition to her crib was a lot easier than I thought it would be, thankfully.  This mom doesn’t know what to do with all the sleep she’s getting. Lol. Don’t get me wrong, I am BEYOND thankful, but it’s still weird.  It takes some time to get used to it.  She loves car rides now, and she loves it when daddy is home.  Every Sunday is her day with daddy when mommy has to work, and she absolutely loves it.

April 12, I had my birth control removed.  It was so easy and didn’t hurt at all.  I had been having a lot of pain with it, I thought I had gotten another cyst on my ovary, but I guess that wasn’t it, because I haven’t hurt at all since I have had it removed.  So I guess that was the problem.  Either way, I’m glad to have it out.

LATER:::

So it’s a few days since I’ve started this blog.  A lot has already happened.  The other night while I was asleep, the power went out in half of our house:  Our hallway, Elizabeth’s room, bathroom, and our bedroom.  We still have power in our living room and kitchen.  They have been here working on it for the past two days and still haven’t fixed it.  They are supposed to come back tomorrow when I get off work to check our wires underneath our house.  Apparently, our hot water heater leaked onto some electrical box underneath our house.  They removed that box, since it shouldn’t have been there in the first place.  But they can’t figure out why the power is our in half of our house.  It’s driving me crazy though.  I have an essay due tomorrow in my Business Law class and I haven’t even had the chance to start it because I have been so busy dealing with everything else.  I’ve been having to sleep on my loveseat because there is no airflow in our bedroom.  I woke up with my back absolutely KILLING me.  I’ve been binging New Girl on Netflix.

Back to what I was talking about at the beginning of this post.  I’m so sick and tired of stay at home moms complaining about how it’s so hard being a stay at home mom.  You don’t hear working moms complaining about how hard it is to work AND be a mom.  I mean, it’s not easy.  I work all day, come home and clean up, get Elizabeth from daycare, get her supper ready and have playtime and do our bedtime routine, cook supper for Dustin and I, work on schoolwork, and then spend time with my husband before I go to bed.  It’s hardwork, but it’s my life and I love it.  I would not change it for anything.  I love my life.  I love that I’m finally going to college, and my life is finally what I want it to be.  No, it’s not perfect.  It’s perfectly imperfect.  To me, don’t complain about your life.  Fix it.  There is no point in complaining.  If something isn’t going the way you want it to, change it.

So there it is.  I’m finally going to post this!

 

#LifeHappensToTheBestOfUs

Oh man, where to even begin??  Life has been so hectic the past couple of weeks.  Right now, I am working 12 days a week in a row, off 2 days(maybe), then I do the 12 days over again.  I enjoy my job, so that doesn’t bother me.  I love it, I love all of my patients.  I just haven’t had a lot of time lately, so this is why it’s been so long since I have been able to write a blog post.  I have sat down and wrote some, then deleted my post because it just wasn’t right.  A few new things have happened since I’ve started working more.

I have started selling Young Living Essential Oils.  I have only had my starter kit for about a couple of weeks now, so I am still learning about them, myself.  I’m working on kicking toxins out of our home.  It’s a process, but I can already see a difference.  I’ve been sleeping so much better by diffusing Lavender and Frankinsence at night.  I diffuse Lemon and Peppermint when I’m studying (which is diffusing right now, behind me).  I diffuse Stress Away (my favorite) when I’m, of course, stressed out!  Lol.  Purification in our living room/kitchen because we have dogs and that way our house doesn’t smell like it!

I have also started to use a planner daily, and meal plan monthly.  It helps so much when it comes to getting groceries and saving money!  I use the Happy Planner, and it is so amazing.  I will post pictures on my next post.  Also, I will post some of my recipes.

I’m hoping to start couponing at some point in the near future.  Elizabeth is getting older, and going through a lot more clothes, toys, etc.  I would love to be able to get stuff cheaper. Lol.  If anyone has any experience in couponing and has some advice to give me, that would be awesome!  I am wanting to start a bullet journal, also.

Here in the near future, I am going to start making candles and selling them, too.  Those baby food jars stack up! Lol.

So, Elizabeth will be 7 months on the 23rd, and she’s growing so fast.  My baby girl sits up on her own, perfectly.  She’s trying to crawl.  She loves baby food, her favorite being fruit, but she also likes avocados and sweet potatoes.  She loves mixed vegetables.  She loves playing with anything she can get her hands on, and she loves giving kisses.  Her favorite part of bedtime is her bath.  Splashing and soaking momma.  🙂  She also really loves story time.

I’m going to wrap this up here.  I have to go back to work in a few hours, and I need to work on some more schoolwork!

 

-BNH

#TiredAF

Tomorrow will be the end of my first week of my new job.  Let’s just say, I am EXHAUSTED.  It’s been over a year since I have worked a full time job, and it’s taking some getting used to.  But I absolutely love it.  I am working every day until next Saturday, but it’s worth it.  I love being able to make a difference.

Yesterday, Elizabeth turned 6 months old!  She goes and gets her shots in a week.  She’s so chunky and so independent.  She loves just sitting on the floor playing with her toys.  She has two teeth, and she’s in 12-18 month clothes.  She’s spoiled rotten.  But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  She loves mixed vegetables, and avocados.  She loves anything with apples and bananas, but she doesn’t understand real bananas.  She is sitting up on her own for the most part.  She loves when her daddy is home and plays with her.  She has the most beautiful eyelashes.  She’s feeling better this week, she was on breathing treatments and steroids for a week, but her breathing is finally better.

 

So I have a question for everyone.  How in the world do I get rid of black ants?  We are overran with them in our house.  It happened last year in the spring.  They drive me insane.  We don’t leave food out, and they still just swarm us.   I spray and spray and they always come back.  I’m getting bit by them constantly.  Luckily, Elizabeth hasn’t gotten bit by any, but I’m a paranoid mama and I want them GONE.  The ant baits don’t really seem to work either, but I’m going to buy some of them and set them in EVERY room so I can try to get rid of these damn things.  UGHHH.  Lord help me.

 

Too Early

This momma has been up since 5 this morning. Why? Because my child refuses to go back to sleep 😫😫😫 Because of my stupid migraines , I didn’t go to sleep until after midnight . So needless to say , I have a pot o coffee brewing and a cartoon on the tv for her. It’s Sunday morning and we’re not able to go to church this morning because it’s pouring rain outside and our baby girl has a bad cough. She’s not running a fever or anything , I think she’s just congested from all this weather we’ve had recently .

I got a new job! I go Tuesday to do all my paperwork and onboarding info. I am going back to home health care. I didn’t think that I would after having Elizabeth , but I have decided to. Substitute teaching is not for me. Well, the area I am teaching at. Kids have no respect anymore . I don’t remember ever being that bad when I was in school. I’m going to keep my substitute job until I figure out around how many hours I will be getting in home health.

Yeah, we’re having a little bump in the road right now , money is tight , but we will always make it. We live by the motto “God will never put us through anything we can’t handle” and I believe that with every ounce of my being . God is amazing , and he is always listening. Even though sometimes we feel lost , we can’t give up hope.

My semester has ended in school with my modern history and spreadsheet applications class. I have a 3.9 gpa. Now I’m in a written communications class . I am determined to not get behind in this class. My last two classes I kept falling behind because I had procrastinated too much. I will not do that this semester. I only have one class.

My migraines are not getting any better and I don’t know what to do. I’m trying everything I can. When I notice I’m getting one , I will eat something with sugar in it thinking that maybe it could be from my sugar. Sometimes it works , sometimes it doesn’t . It seems to mainly happen in the evening . It keeps me from sleeping . I’m already on like 3 medications for them , and they still don’t work. I go back to the doctor in two weeks though , so hopefully she will know what to do. I hope so.

I have started to meal plan , and we are eating healthier. Last night we had chicken that was baked in French dressing and green bean casserole. It was so good . I’m glad that Dustin is eating healthier with me. I know it will take time , but at least we are trying . We are also cutting back on our soda. For a while there , all we were drinking was Mountain Dew . Not healthy at all. It was also causing us to feel pretty bad .

I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my blog! I almost have 500 views . I know to most people that’s not a lot , but that makes me so happy! That’s what keeps me writing this!

Mom Shaming.

Let me just start this post out with… I AM SO SICK AND F’N TIRED OF EVERYONE MOM SHAMING.   I don’t understand why people find it necessary to have to constantly push what they do for their kids onto other parents.  Like, being a mom is hard enough on its own without someone judging every little thing you do.  Example::

You breastfeed; good for you.  You can’t or don’t breastfeed; you are apparently a HORRIBLE mom because you’re not giving your baby nutrition from your body.    Now I have heard this one a lot.  I wanted to breastfeed, more than anything.  I hadn’t even bought any bottles or formula or anything.  Well, she latched on a couple of times when she was born, but then she got sick and was in the hospital.  During that time, she didn’t even attempt so I started pumping.  My supply was so low, even with POWER PUMPING (cause yes, I’ve heard “well you need to power pump to get your supply up”) that I couldn’t keep up with how much she was wanting to eat.  And you know what?  My daughter is as chunky as can be being formula fed.  She has met all of her milestones, earlier on some, and she’s already eating baby food.  In my opinion, a FED baby is all that matters.  Whether you breastfeed or formula feed, as long as your baby is eating and getting the nutrition that he/she needs is all that matters, and you are a GREAT mom either way.

VACCINATE OR NOT VACCINATE::: This is by far one of the WORST ones when it comes to mom shaming.  Give me a freakin’ break.  Parents make their own decisions when it comes to their offspring.  Do NOT make them feel bad for their own decisions.  I vaccinate my baby, and I will always vaccinate her, and all my other kids that come after her.  The reason all of the diseases from before our time are coming back, is because people have decided they do not trust the vaccines.  More times than not, when a child gets sick after their vaccinations is because a virus/infection/etc was already dormant in their bodies and something(maybe the vaccine) finally awakened it and set it off.  I would rather be able to use preventative measures to protect my child of these illnesses than to see her get sick with one of them.  I know she will have to have boosters as she ages, so does everyone else who gets vaccinated.  The doctor who CLAIMED that the MMR vaccine was a cause for Autism was a HUGE PHONEY.   He had his license revoked for cheating his tests pretty much.    So, that is my opinion.  If you don’t vaccinate, okay.  That’s your decision.  I’m proud you made that decision.  You’re a good mom, either way.  Just like I am a good mom for deciding to get my daughter vaccinated.  DO NOT PUSH THE WAY YOU BELIEVE ON OTHER MOMS.  I don’t understand why moms are so RUDE and MEAN about the way they voice their opinions.  Also, if you are going to fight someone about it, at least get your facts straight.

Baby food/Baby Led Weaning:  Start your baby on whatever food that you feel is right for your baby.  Elizabeth eats jar baby food, and food off of our plates and she absolutely love it.  We also make our own, too.  You do whatever you feel is right for your baby and your family.

There are so many more that I can discuss, but these are the mains ones  for the day that I wanted to point out because I’m fed up with everything.  No, I don’t have many mom friends, and this is why.  I honestly don’t care.  My husband and I do what we think is best for our child.  That is all that matters.  But thanks to all the moms who have shamed other mom’s so hard, for making them feel like they aren’t good enough and second guessing the way they raise THEIR baby.  I hope you feel good about yourselves and I will definitely be praying for you.

Big props to the moms who are just trying as hard as they can to not give up.  It’s hard.  But you got this, momma.  God will never put you through something that you cannot handle.

BNH

When life gets you down…

When life gets you down , just pick yourself right back up and brush yourself off. That’s what I am having to learn to do. The past couple of weeks have been very hard on me with my anxiety and depression . I missed a whole week of work because I didn’t want to get out of bed 🤦🏻‍♀️ I am still behind on homework assignments because of the rut I had gotten myself into. I’m not sure what had gotten me so depressed , I think it’s a combination of bills , being overwhelmed with being a mom , student, and working. Just a combination of things.

This week though , I made sure to start it out better and so far so good. It’s Wednesday night and I am still smiling and feeling good about myself . I have worked this week , and I have started a bullet journal (pictures will be below). I am pushing myself to go to bed early and wake up early and stay awake , even on the days I don’t have to work . Today I volunteered with hospice for the first time in the office and I loved it. I’ve also been working on my schoolwork.

The pictures above are of my bullet journal thus far. I am also doing a daily bible study. I’ve fallen a little bit behind on that , so I need to pick that back up.

Tomorrow I am getting our groceries for the month , so if anyone has any advice on things to get that will actually last us all month , that would be awesome. I have actually started a meal plan for the whole month , and I only have a couple of days left to decide what to cook. I’m hoping with me creating a schedule , my life won’t be near as hectic!

Our baby girl turned 5 months old this month . She has two teeth that have cut the gums , she loves mixed vegetable baby food and banana flavored cereal. She loves playing in her walker and bouncer and knocking things off the table. She has a habit of holding onto mamas hair while I’m rocking her to sleep at night 😍 she’s my pride and joy.

Off to a Bad Start

I have been off and on writing different blog posts and I can never finish them to post them so I have decided to start on a new one and sit here until I actually finish it.  This year has not started off very well.

This past week has been really rocky.  Last Friday, I picked Elizabeth up from daycare because her temperature had went from 99.1 to 100.7 in less than 30 minutes.  I wound up taking her to the doctor because by the time I had gotten home, it was 100.9.  They tested her for the flu and RSV and she was negative for both.  They said it was just an Upper Respiratory Infection and to give her Tylenol for her fever.  Well, Saturday she was so lethargic she could barely eat.  Her fever had gotten to 104.7.  The beginning of the day she wasn’t as bad and ate like normal, but her fever was high so I called her doctor.  She said it was fine, to keep giving her Tylenol as prescribed.  Then around 2-3 pm, she was to the point where she didn’t want to wake up to eat and when she would wake up, she would cry.  So we wound up taking her to Fast Pace, where she tested positive for Flu Type A.  They gave her Tamiflu and told us to use Tylenol. Next day she was back to being our happy baby.  Then on Wednesday, she had her four month shots, and she would have cried if she hadn’t lost her voice from all of the coughing she had done the past few days.  It is Sunday now, and she’s so much better.  I’m so happy.

Then Dustin got sick, and he was laid up in bed the whole day he was sick.  I was  hoping I wouldn’t get it, but now I have it.  I don’t have the flu, but I have some kind of congestion funk in my head that won’t go away.  My right ear keeps stopping up and making it where I can’t hear, and my throat has been bothering me really bad.  But, I’m gonna just keep on keeping on.  Can’t let some sickness wear me down.

Our weather this week has been crazy.  It was supposed to snow, and we barely got any.  But it had rained before it snowed, so our vehicles kept getting stuck in the mud in our driveway.  Thursday I actually had to call a towtruck to pull our truck out.  It was such a pain in the butt.

But, I have decided about my New Year’s Resolution.  I know, I know, nobody ever keeps their resolutions and they are normally like “Oh, I’m going to lose weight” or “I’m going to eat better and drink less soda.”  Not me.  Mine is to get closer to God.  I want to show Elizabeth that her mommy and daddy are faithful in the Lord.  I want to be a more Godly wife and mother.  I know it’s going to take a lot of work, and I’m not going to see any changes right away.  But I want to do this.  A lot of things have happened this year that has made me realize how great our Lord is.  Tomorrow I will be starting a new book.  “Becoming the Woman God Wants Me To Be”  and I also have a mom bible study that I am wanting to start soon.  In Sunday School class, we are doing a couples Bible study.  My main focus as of now, though, is to be able to make time everyday for God.  Either in the morning, or after Elizabeth goes to sleep.  I need to figure out what works best for me.  That is always my main problem.

School has also been really rough on me because I am now doing two classes, and one is History, and I am not good at it.  Every assignment from both classes are due on the same day, and because everyone had gotten sick last week, I had to cram to finish my assignments on time.  I’m praying I don’t have to do this again this week.  Tomorrow I plan on working really hard on schoolwork.  I already have the dishes done and bottles washed for tonight, so I’m hoping I won’t have much housework to do.

I want to thank everyone for reading my blog and being patient with me.  I think I am finally starting to get a little better at finding stuff to write about.  I just hope I am keeping you all entertained and you’re not bored reading this.

BNH

Never Give Up; Anything Is Possible

So I know that I am horrible at keeping up with my blog, my apologies. The past few weeks have been hectic, and the last week has been rough. We’ve all been going back and forth with whatever sickness is going around because of this stupid Tennessee weather. I’m still sick. Both of my ears are killing me , and I’m so stuffed up I can’t breathe at all. I’ve been taking daytime and night time decongestants, hot tea with honey and lemon, and I’ve been using Vicks. I’m trying to make sure Elizabeth doesn’t get sick again, because she had a bad cold a week ago. I also don’t want to make Dustin even sicker than he’s been. I’m wanting to get rid of this funk before Christmas because it is Elizabeth’s first Christmas, and I want to be feeling better and have a great day!
I have been thinking about what to write about on this post, and I am still having different thoughts going back and forth, so this may be a long one, I’m not sure yet. Since Christmas is in 3 days, I plan on writing about this year in a whole, then my next post will be about the New Years and what we are hoping will happen in 2018.
So this year I have gotten married, had a baby, started college, and became a substitute teacher. All of which are the most amazing things to me and have taught me so much about myself and life.
December 22, 2016, we found out that we were going to be having a baby. I remember it exactly. I had been extremely sick all through Thanksgiving and I had felt like something was going on. I just felt different. Then my sinuses started getting really bad, so me and Dustin went to Walmart to by allergy medicine and I told him I was just going to get a pregnancy test just to see. I mean, what could it hurt? I was supposed to start my period the next day, but I wanted to go ahead and take one. I was in the bathroom waiting for the results and Dustin was in the living room. I didn’t want to look, because we had been trying for 7-8 months to get pregnant, with no luck, so I was scared. When I saw those two lines, I screamed. Dustin ran in the bathroom thinking something was wrong, and I was just ran and hugged him and started crying. It was the most amazing thing. I was still so scared, I was thinking that it couldn’t be real because I hadn’t even missed a period yet, and the lines were so clear. So I took another one the next morning, and it was two very clear lines. Then again, just to make sure, I went to our local health department and they confirmed it. Now we have a 4 month old.
March 05, 2017, we said “I Do”. It wasn’t the ideal wedding that we were planning for. We had the date set for August 25, 2017 and on August 26, 2017 we were supposed to get on a plane to go to Hawaii. Honestly though, it didn’t matter to me because we were getting married and having a baby. I was over the moon in love with Dustin, and I still am. Everyday with him is like falling in love with him all over again. I’ve never been so happy. We wound up having our wedding in my uncle’s front yard down where my parents live. We only have close family come to see it, so for those that were not invited, don’t take it personally. We didn’t invite many people. Then after we got married, we wound up shooting guns. It was sprinkling, and after being outside all day in a dress, I was extremely sick afterwards. I went to bed super early on my wedding night because I could barely hold my head up. It was still the best day. Dustin makes me so happy, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He shows me everyday how much he loves me.
August 20, 2017 I was in the hospital getting induced to have our baby girl. Now, we have had a lot of people wondering why our doctor induced me since we weren’t having any health problems and she wasn’t due for another 6 days. The reason being, I was in latent labor for almost 2 months. My contractions stayed 2 minutes apart constantly and I wasn’t sleeping or anything because I was in so much pain. She decided since I was full term, to go ahead and induce me because I was back and forth in the hospital when I was only dilated to 1 ½. They started the induction at 4pm on Monday, and had her at 4:27 pm on Wednesday. I was in labor for 46 hours. But she was worth every minute of it. My epidural stopped working about 3 hours before I had her. I felt everything, but after I seen her beautiful face, it made the pain completely go away.
Now Elizabeth is 4 months old and over 14 pounds. She loves sweet potatoes, carrots, and her cereal. She is now holding her own bottle, and she babbles constantly. Her laugh is the cutest thing I have ever heard. Her smile makes my heart melt. She sleeps through almost the whole night, sometimes waking up just once to eat, then she’s back asleep. She has such a big personality. She can go from laughing to crying in just a split second. She loves her daddy, and she loves daycare. She is doing great at sitting up. She’s not very fond of peas. She is obsessed with the rattle that her Aunt Abbye sent her from Texas. She’s so loved and so spoiled. Elizabeth Nichole is our miracle sent from God.
I also started CTU online this year. My final grade in my first class was posted this morning, and I have a 4.0 gpa! I’m so happy. It was rough trying to figure out how to schedule in studying, working, cleaning, and spending time with Elizabeth, but I finally figured it out (for the most part) and worked as hard as I could and it paid off. On December 29, I get to view my next classes, which are Modern American History, and Spreadsheet Applications. I am extremely nervous about those. This first class was about teaching us how to study and making schedules, setting goals, etc. Now all I need is a new computer, because mine just recently started messing up. But right now, I’m hoping it’ll last until I am able to afford a new one, which probably won’t be for a little while.
This year has also put me closer to God. I am so thankful for everything He has done for me and my family. I love studying in my bible. I’m hoping that this next year I will be able to finally read the whole bible. That’s been one of my goals for a while, but I’ve never had the motivation. We have started a new Sunday School class in our church and it’s for young married couples, and I love it. It has taught me so much already. We are learning about the couples in the bible right now.
I also started a new job this year. I wasn’t expecting to start working so soon, but I had the opportunity and I am so glad that I accepted it. I am a substitute teacher, for Maury County. It is still a little difficult because I am working on my confidence. But the past few times I have substituted has helped me with that. I’m more confident with getting the students to listen to me. I know I have to work on it more, but I will get there. It just takes time, and practice. I really enjoy working in Special Ed classes. They have taught me so much.
I know that this blog post has been a little everywhere and jumbled. This year has been so amazing, and I have learned that no matter what, don’t give up on your dreams. If you work at something, you will achieve it, just don’t give up. Life happens, remember that. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing myself, but I remember that God is always there, and so is my family.

So I started this post on my Microsoft Word before Christmas, and now it’s the day after Christmas and I have still not posted it online. I’m very bad at procrastinating, and I really need to get better at that, but I am going to post this now, and then write another post by the end of the week ( hopefully). Thanks guys for being so patient!

BNH

Motivation

I’m going to start this off with, I can’t believe tomorrow is Thanksgiving!  Last year on Thanksgiving, Dustin proposed to me!  This year will be Elizabeth’s first Thanksgiving!  I’m so excited!

Alright, so my online classes have started.  Right now I feel like all I am doing with my time is studying when Elizabeth is asleep.  I don’t mind it, because I’m a nerd, but with the migraines I get, it’s a little difficult.  Right now we are talking about stress management, time management, etc.  We have a live class tonight, and my teacher wants us all to share our favorite motivational quote.  I have a couple that I really like:

“If you want to achieve greatness stop asking for permission.”

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.”

“If you are not willing to risk the usual you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn

” All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

” Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

Those are my favorite ones, now time to decide which one to use for tonight.  We have gotten 3 grades so far, and as of now I have an A!  I’m so happy.  Following my dream is scary but exciting.  I’m just so happy I have such a great support system.  If it wasn’t for my husband, I don’t know where I would be right now.

Now to talk about my new job!  I accepted the job as a substitute teacher.  I have only worked one day before they were off a week for the holidays, but I have plenty of assignments already scheduled before Christmas break starts!  My first assignment was for a Special Ed class in an Elementary School.  I absolutely loved it.  Being in there with those kids taught me so much and just changed my perspective.  It was a great first day of work.  At first I had only accepted Elementary Schools, but I felt like I was missing something.  I talked with Dustin, and I decided to add middle schools and see how I liked it.  I may not enjoy older grades, but I want to try it and see.  I know though that I do not want to substitute in high schools.  I’m very short, and I am just not confident enough yet to sub in a high school setting.

Dustin and I have been going to church (as often as we can), and our church has started a new Sunday School class for young married couples.  We are very much enjoying it.  Last Sunday we studied Adam and Eve.  Our challenge for this week is to not blame our spouse.  Last night me and Dustin were sitting in our living room, he was watching TV and I was studying.  I don’t really remember what he had said that had started the conversation, but it ended with him telling me “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t blame you, it’s not you, and I shouldn’t make it out to be your fault.”  Guys, that made me so happy.  To know that he is actually paying attention in Sunday School and is doing our lesson with me means so much.  I mean, we are always telling each other everything.  We’ve always thought our relationship is completely different from others.  We have put God first since the very beginning.  We work together as a couple.  He always encourages me to do what makes me happy and even though what we are going through right now is stressful, God knows.  God won’t put us through anything we can’t handle.  I wasn’t expecting to go to work so soon, but I was given a great opportunity, and Dustin knows that I enjoy it so much.  But working, going to college, cleaning the house, having a 3 month old baby, and trying to have a social life is challenging to say the least.  When Elizabeth takes a nap, I have to decide between studying, cleaning, or resting.  It’s not easy.

I know I brag on Dustin a lot, but don’t think we don’t get into it sometimes.  Like all couples, we do argue.  It’s not often but we do.  We get on each others nerves sometimes.  I know some days he would like to strangle me, and some days I would like to punch him in the throat.  But those aren’t very often.  Some days when Elizabeth is asleep, we will go and sit outside and just talk.  We talk about his day at work, we talk about what I did at home that day, just random stuff.  Sometimes it’s serious and deep conversations, and sometimes it’s not.  Some days we just sit in the living room playing video games or watching tv and don’t say more than a few words to each other and we are still completely comfortable with that.  We always talk about how we are meant to be together, how God put us in bad situations at the beginning so we would have the opportunity to meet.

Now I’m going to talk about my child.  Elizabeth will be three months old tomorrow, and she is already wearing size 2 diapers, and 3-6 month clothing!  She is able to play with toys.  She can grasp rattles and blankets.  She loves her swing.  She loves pulling her pacifier out of her mouth, then screaming for one of us to put it back in, just for her to do it again.  She loves cereal.  She sleeps pretty much all night.  Her bed time is in between 5:30-7.  She still loves being swaddled.  She loves Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck.  She loves watching Superhero cartoons.  Every morning when you look into her bassinet when she wakes up, she gives you a huge smile that just melts your heart.  She’s growing up so fast and even though that makes me happy, it also makes me so sad.  She’s so smart, and so chunky.  I love my baby girl more than anything in this world.

Last thing, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I just want to put here what I am thankful for.  I am thankful for God, and for everything He has done for me and my little family.  I am thankful for Dustin ,and for Elizabeth.  I am thankful for my best friends.  I am thankful for my family, and my in-laws.  My church family.  I am just so thankful that I am given the opportunity to have so many great people in my life.

 

BNH

A new chapter in life

Hey guys! 👋🏻. So I know it’s been a little while since I have posted , and trust me, I’ve been meaning to but life just gets in the way sometimes . I’m going to try to make a post at least once a week , maybe every two weeks. Depends on the way life is going at that moment in time. 😝

My husband , Dustin has gotten a new job. He seems to like it , which I am glad . He’s on first shift now. I am so happy about that . It’s very nice being able to spend more time with him during the day , and have him next to me at night . 

I start online classes in less than two weeks! 🤗 I am so excited! I am getting my associates of accounting degree. This first 7 weeks I only have one class , so it won’t be too bad. 

This week I also got a great opportunity . I received a phone call on Monday for a job offer to be a substitute teacher in the county over . I talked it over with Dustin and I’ve accepted it! I had my orientation on Thursday , I chose to do all the elementary schools in the county . I get my fingerprints done on Monday , then I get to start accepting assignments on Tuesday!  I get to manage my own schedule , which will be great for school and our baby . I’m so excited for this! 

This new chapter in our lives is scary but so exciting ! God works in mysterious ways. But our God is amazing! Prayer works , guys! 🙏🏻 I wasn’t planning on going back to work this soon , but I feel like this is meant to be. Everything happens for a reason!

I have also been taking time out of everyday to read and study my bible! I’ve been trying to go to church every Sunday because we have an amazing Sunday school class , for young married couples! It’s so inspiring and eye opening. 

I just finished a three book series by gayle Forman. I started turtles all the way down by John green today! I’ve been so ready to read this book! 

Any substitute teachers have any words of advice for me ? This is a completely new experience! 

BNH

Such a pain

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted . I need to get in the habit of posting more , but sometimes I just don’t really have much to say . Ya know ?  Hmmmm…

Well, Dustin bought me the iPhone 6 this week , which I am in love with , btw. He also surprised me with a new nightmare before Christmas shirt, too. (As seen in picture above👆🏻) 

This weekend I let my parents keep Elizabeth for the first time overnight . I was a nervous wreck at first , but with Dustin reassuring me, I relaxed . When she saw me the next day though , she was in all smiles 😀😀

I went back to the doctor today so she could check my iud. Everything is perfect with that .  She started me on a new medicine for my migraines . Yesterday I started having very bad pain in my right side , so we’re trying to figure that out .  She did a urinalysis and it came back negative for everything she could check at her office, the culture should be back within a couple of days. 

     Right now I have a baby with a bellyache😢 . She’s calm one minute and the next she’s crying again , but I’ve given her some gas relief drops and she’s starting to wind down now . Hopefully she will be asleep soon. 

     Did some shopping for her and myself today . We both needed some fall clothes. I got a few long sleeve shirts and she got some sleepers . She also got some new dr browns bottles. I love those bottles. 

    Well, that’s all for now folks!

Bnh 

First Time Mom

      First time stay at home mom, and wife.  Somedays I feel like I’m going crazy from being so overwhelmed, other days I feel great.  Whoever said being a stay at home mom was easy, is absolutely insane.  I do love it, though.  But I also love to work, so the transition is hard.  What I need is a job where I can stay at home and work from my computer or something.  I don’t know how to find one that isn’t a scam though.  If anyone has any suggestions, I’d be up to trying anything.  I just want to be able to help pay for stuff.   Between taking care of Elizabeth, cleaning the house, and keeping up with laundry, somedays I just feel like I’m swamped with things to do.  Dustin is amazing though, and he doesn’t expect me to constantly keep everything done.  He knows how tired I get, and even with him working 7 days a week right now, he does everything he can to make me feel better about everything.  I try to tell him everyday how much I appreciate what he does for me and Elizabeth.

Elizabeth’s one month check up was this past Monday.  She weighed 10 pounds 5.5 ounces.  22 inches long.  She’s doing great.  They’ve changed her formula to similac sensitive, and she’s doing really well on it.  She just tends to try to eat too fast.  We’ve gotten her on a sleep schedule for the most part at night.  She will go to sleep around 7:30-8:30, wake up around midnight to eat and get a diaper change, then she will sleep until about 4, eat and diaper change, then she’s asleep until around 7.  I’m so happy I’m finally getting some sleep.  I still feel completely wore out though.

I’ve been reading the same book since I was in the hospital with Elizabeth.  I’m finally able to start back on it.  I’m reading The Woman In Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware.  It’s an amazing book.  She’s become one of my favorite authors.  I was able to read about 100 pages in it last night before heading to bed.  I already have my next book lined up, too.  It’s another one of her books.

We finally have our bedroom set up.  It took us 7 months of living here, but we have a bedroom now, with a tv and everything. Lol.  We had to buy a new Roku for it, and I love it.  Streaming channels was probably one of the best things invented in my eyes.  I’ve been obsessed with Hulu lately.  Last night I started on Big Little Lies.  So far so good.  I’m only on episode 2, though.

So also on Monday when she had her one month appointment, I got my birth control put in.  I got the paragard.  I’m not sure what’s going on, if it was placed wrong, if my body’s rejecting it, or if what I’m feeling is completely normal.  I’ve been bleeding really bad for I think 3-4 days now.  Which has been making me feel horrible.  I’ve also been feeling like a stabbing sensation every now and then depending on how I move, so I don’t know if it’s moved or what.  I called this morning and made an appointment for my doctor tomorrow morning, so I’ll let you all know how it goes.  I’m thinking about just getting it taken out and getting on the pill or the patch.  I’m not sure yet.

I’ve been doing a lot of research lately on different types of vitamins.  I found one that I’ve decided to try since I have a lot of stomach problems and really high cholesterol.  It’s called Fenugreek.  It has so many things it can help with.  But I need it for my cholesterol and acid reflux.  So I’m trying it to see how it works.  It can also help with lowering blood sugar, so if you’re diabetic, maybe think about giving it a try?

I’m also trying to eat and be healthier.  Dustin bought us a blender a little over a week ago.  I made smoothies this morning for my breakfast.  I just added vanilla yogurt(fat free),  peaches, strawberries, and mangos.  It was great.  I think tomorrow morning I’m going to try avocadoes and spinach.  It sounds gross to most people, but I am obsessed with those two things.  I eat avocadoes ALL the time. My coffee addiction is back, though.  So far this morning I have had 2 cups.  It makes me so happy.  Also, I’m so happy it’s October.  I really hope that fall weather starts soon.  I have so many long sleeve cute outfits for Elizabeth, and I’m ready to wear leggings and big long sleeve shirts and not burn alive.

I guess I will wrap this up here.  If anyone knows though about REAL work at home jobs, please let me know.  That’s one of my goals.  Online school is another one.  Which I’m working on applying for now.  Also if anyone knows any good smoothie recipes, or just really healthy (cheap) recipes in general, I’d love to talk and learn them!  TIA.  (I also got new LLR Halloween leggings!  Picture below ^_^ )

BNH

 

 

Looking Up.

Elizabeth will be 3 weeks old on Wednesday.  We had her doctor appointment today and she’s doing great!  She already weighs 8 pounds 5.5 ounces.  So that means that in 3 weeks, she has gained 1 pound 4.5 ounces.  I’m so proud of our baby girl.  We are now just formula feeding, which she is doing good with.  She’s a very happy baby.  Her baby acne is driving me crazy.  Our doctor said we could try two things, but it would just go away on its own over time.  She told us we could try giving her a bath everyday and drying the places out, or using aquaphor on them.  So I got some aquaphor baby and I’m going to try that first.

I also had a doctor’s appointment today, but it was an eye exam.  Which I was so happy about, because I haven’t had contacts since I’ve been pregnant because my eyes were drying out so bad.  If you know me, you know I absolutely hate wearing glasses.  Before, I only had an astigmatism in my left eye, now I have it in my right eye, too.  Yay.  My contacts have been ordered, and I also ordered some more glasses(cheapest I could get, Lol.).  They are supposed to be in next week, I’m so excited!  They gave me a pair of contacts to wear until then, so bye bye glasses!  It does feel weird to have contacts in again, though.

In two weeks, we have our month appointment with the doctor.  I’m getting my birth control put in and I’m super nervous.  I’ve only ever used two types of birth control: the pill and the depo shot.  Both of which I did not want to do again because I didn’t like them.. So we’re going with the copper IUD.  I’ve heard really good things about it, so let’s hope for the best!

I’ve lost 20 pounds since I’ve had Elizabeth!  I’m so proud of myself.  I’m already in my old jeans(I only had one pair though).  Luckily, WalMart has their jeans right now for $7.78.  I love them, they are so comfortable.  It feels good to be able to wear anything now and be comfortable.  I do miss being pregnant every now and then, but having my baby girl in my arms is so much better.

BNH

Getting discouraged & scared to be judged

I haven’t been wanting to write anything about this, I’m so worried about being judged by people who think “breast is best” which believe me, I was very determined to exclusively breast feed.  Now I’m just a “fed is best” mom.

I’m sitting here on my couch, while my baby girl sleeps beside me after drinking a couple ounces of Similac Advance formula.  As disappointed and upset that I am, I’m just glad my baby girl is being fed, and is healthy.  She’s 17 days old today, and I’ve been trying and trying to get her to latch.  She won’t at all.  I’ve tried different positions with both sides and still nothing.  I’ve been pumping, but it’s getting so tiring.  The only time she ever seems to spit up, is with my breast milk.  She seems to do so much better with formula.  When I was pregnant, all I talked about was wanting to breast feed.  I read books and did so much research.  Everyone just keeps telling me to keep trying, she will eventually get it.  To try different positions.  But nothing is working, and I’m just so tired.  I hate writing this, and I hate giving up.  I have to do what’s best for me, my baby, and family.  For us, it seems like formula is best.  Maybe our next baby I’ll be able to exclusively breast feed, but for Elizabeth it’s formula.  Things happen and you have to make changes.

People can post their opinions about this, but I’d rather not hear anything about “Just keep trying” or “it’ll get better”.  I’m planning on going back to work in a month or so, and hopefully to college, so to me it’s just better for us to formula feed her.

Thank you everyone for reading, and for understanding.  This isn’t the best post I’ve wrote, it’s early and I’m still super tired, so my thought process isn’t the greatest right now.  But I tried to explain to my best ability why formula is best for us.

BNH