Motivation

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I’m going to start this off with, I can’t believe tomorrow is Thanksgiving!  Last year on Thanksgiving, Dustin proposed to me!  This year will be Elizabeth’s first Thanksgiving!  I’m so excited!

Alright, so my online classes have started.  Right now I feel like all I am doing with my time is studying when Elizabeth is asleep.  I don’t mind it, because I’m a nerd, but with the migraines I get, it’s a little difficult.  Right now we are talking about stress management, time management, etc.  We have a live class tonight, and my teacher wants us all to share our favorite motivational quote.  I have a couple that I really like:

“If you want to achieve greatness stop asking for permission.”

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.”

“If you are not willing to risk the usual you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn

” All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

” Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

Those are my favorite ones, now time to decide which one to use for tonight.  We have gotten 3 grades so far, and as of now I have an A!  I’m so happy.  Following my dream is scary but exciting.  I’m just so happy I have such a great support system.  If it wasn’t for my husband, I don’t know where I would be right now.

Now to talk about my new job!  I accepted the job as a substitute teacher.  I have only worked one day before they were off a week for the holidays, but I have plenty of assignments already scheduled before Christmas break starts!  My first assignment was for a Special Ed class in an Elementary School.  I absolutely loved it.  Being in there with those kids taught me so much and just changed my perspective.  It was a great first day of work.  At first I had only accepted Elementary Schools, but I felt like I was missing something.  I talked with Dustin, and I decided to add middle schools and see how I liked it.  I may not enjoy older grades, but I want to try it and see.  I know though that I do not want to substitute in high schools.  I’m very short, and I am just not confident enough yet to sub in a high school setting.

Dustin and I have been going to church (as often as we can), and our church has started a new Sunday School class for young married couples.  We are very much enjoying it.  Last Sunday we studied Adam and Eve.  Our challenge for this week is to not blame our spouse.  Last night me and Dustin were sitting in our living room, he was watching TV and I was studying.  I don’t really remember what he had said that had started the conversation, but it ended with him telling me “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t blame you, it’s not you, and I shouldn’t make it out to be your fault.”  Guys, that made me so happy.  To know that he is actually paying attention in Sunday School and is doing our lesson with me means so much.  I mean, we are always telling each other everything.  We’ve always thought our relationship is completely different from others.  We have put God first since the very beginning.  We work together as a couple.  He always encourages me to do what makes me happy and even though what we are going through right now is stressful, God knows.  God won’t put us through anything we can’t handle.  I wasn’t expecting to go to work so soon, but I was given a great opportunity, and Dustin knows that I enjoy it so much.  But working, going to college, cleaning the house, having a 3 month old baby, and trying to have a social life is challenging to say the least.  When Elizabeth takes a nap, I have to decide between studying, cleaning, or resting.  It’s not easy.

I know I brag on Dustin a lot, but don’t think we don’t get into it sometimes.  Like all couples, we do argue.  It’s not often but we do.  We get on each others nerves sometimes.  I know some days he would like to strangle me, and some days I would like to punch him in the throat.  But those aren’t very often.  Some days when Elizabeth is asleep, we will go and sit outside and just talk.  We talk about his day at work, we talk about what I did at home that day, just random stuff.  Sometimes it’s serious and deep conversations, and sometimes it’s not.  Some days we just sit in the living room playing video games or watching tv and don’t say more than a few words to each other and we are still completely comfortable with that.  We always talk about how we are meant to be together, how God put us in bad situations at the beginning so we would have the opportunity to meet.

Now I’m going to talk about my child.  Elizabeth will be three months old tomorrow, and she is already wearing size 2 diapers, and 3-6 month clothing!  She is able to play with toys.  She can grasp rattles and blankets.  She loves her swing.  She loves pulling her pacifier out of her mouth, then screaming for one of us to put it back in, just for her to do it again.  She loves cereal.  She sleeps pretty much all night.  Her bed time is in between 5:30-7.  She still loves being swaddled.  She loves Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck.  She loves watching Superhero cartoons.  Every morning when you look into her bassinet when she wakes up, she gives you a huge smile that just melts your heart.  She’s growing up so fast and even though that makes me happy, it also makes me so sad.  She’s so smart, and so chunky.  I love my baby girl more than anything in this world.

Last thing, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I just want to put here what I am thankful for.  I am thankful for God, and for everything He has done for me and my little family.  I am thankful for Dustin ,and for Elizabeth.  I am thankful for my best friends.  I am thankful for my family, and my in-laws.  My church family.  I am just so thankful that I am given the opportunity to have so many great people in my life.

 

BNH

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A new chapter in life

Hey guys! 👋🏻. So I know it’s been a little while since I have posted , and trust me, I’ve been meaning to but life just gets in the way sometimes . I’m going to try to make a post at least once a week , maybe every two weeks. Depends on the way life is going at that moment in time. 😝

My husband , Dustin has gotten a new job. He seems to like it , which I am glad . He’s on first shift now. I am so happy about that . It’s very nice being able to spend more time with him during the day , and have him next to me at night . 

I start online classes in less than two weeks! 🤗 I am so excited! I am getting my associates of accounting degree. This first 7 weeks I only have one class , so it won’t be too bad. 

This week I also got a great opportunity . I received a phone call on Monday for a job offer to be a substitute teacher in the county over . I talked it over with Dustin and I’ve accepted it! I had my orientation on Thursday , I chose to do all the elementary schools in the county . I get my fingerprints done on Monday , then I get to start accepting assignments on Tuesday!  I get to manage my own schedule , which will be great for school and our baby . I’m so excited for this! 

This new chapter in our lives is scary but so exciting ! God works in mysterious ways. But our God is amazing! Prayer works , guys! 🙏🏻 I wasn’t planning on going back to work this soon , but I feel like this is meant to be. Everything happens for a reason!

I have also been taking time out of everyday to read and study my bible! I’ve been trying to go to church every Sunday because we have an amazing Sunday school class , for young married couples! It’s so inspiring and eye opening. 

I just finished a three book series by gayle Forman. I started turtles all the way down by John green today! I’ve been so ready to read this book! 

Any substitute teachers have any words of advice for me ? This is a completely new experience! 

BNH

Such a pain

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted . I need to get in the habit of posting more , but sometimes I just don’t really have much to say . Ya know ?  Hmmmm…

Well, Dustin bought me the iPhone 6 this week , which I am in love with , btw. He also surprised me with a new nightmare before Christmas shirt, too. (As seen in picture above👆🏻) 

This weekend I let my parents keep Elizabeth for the first time overnight . I was a nervous wreck at first , but with Dustin reassuring me, I relaxed . When she saw me the next day though , she was in all smiles 😀😀


I went back to the doctor today so she could check my iud. Everything is perfect with that .  She started me on a new medicine for my migraines . Yesterday I started having very bad pain in my right side , so we’re trying to figure that out .  She did a urinalysis and it came back negative for everything she could check at her office, the culture should be back within a couple of days. 

     Right now I have a baby with a bellyache😢 . She’s calm one minute and the next she’s crying again , but I’ve given her some gas relief drops and she’s starting to wind down now . Hopefully she will be asleep soon. 

     Did some shopping for her and myself today . We both needed some fall clothes. I got a few long sleeve shirts and she got some sleepers . She also got some new dr browns bottles. I love those bottles. 

    Well, that’s all for now folks!

Bnh 

First Time Mom

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      First time stay at home mom, and wife.  Somedays I feel like I’m going crazy from being so overwhelmed, other days I feel great.  Whoever said being a stay at home mom was easy, is absolutely insane.  I do love it, though.  But I also love to work, so the transition is hard.  What I need is a job where I can stay at home and work from my computer or something.  I don’t know how to find one that isn’t a scam though.  If anyone has any suggestions, I’d be up to trying anything.  I just want to be able to help pay for stuff.   Between taking care of Elizabeth, cleaning the house, and keeping up with laundry, somedays I just feel like I’m swamped with things to do.  Dustin is amazing though, and he doesn’t expect me to constantly keep everything done.  He knows how tired I get, and even with him working 7 days a week right now, he does everything he can to make me feel better about everything.  I try to tell him everyday how much I appreciate what he does for me and Elizabeth.

Elizabeth’s one month check up was this past Monday.  She weighed 10 pounds 5.5 ounces.  22 inches long.  She’s doing great.  They’ve changed her formula to similac sensitive, and she’s doing really well on it.  She just tends to try to eat too fast.  We’ve gotten her on a sleep schedule for the most part at night.  She will go to sleep around 7:30-8:30, wake up around midnight to eat and get a diaper change, then she will sleep until about 4, eat and diaper change, then she’s asleep until around 7.  I’m so happy I’m finally getting some sleep.  I still feel completely wore out though.

I’ve been reading the same book since I was in the hospital with Elizabeth.  I’m finally able to start back on it.  I’m reading The Woman In Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware.  It’s an amazing book.  She’s become one of my favorite authors.  I was able to read about 100 pages in it last night before heading to bed.  I already have my next book lined up, too.  It’s another one of her books.

We finally have our bedroom set up.  It took us 7 months of living here, but we have a bedroom now, with a tv and everything. Lol.  We had to buy a new Roku for it, and I love it.  Streaming channels was probably one of the best things invented in my eyes.  I’ve been obsessed with Hulu lately.  Last night I started on Big Little Lies.  So far so good.  I’m only on episode 2, though.

So also on Monday when she had her one month appointment, I got my birth control put in.  I got the paragard.  I’m not sure what’s going on, if it was placed wrong, if my body’s rejecting it, or if what I’m feeling is completely normal.  I’ve been bleeding really bad for I think 3-4 days now.  Which has been making me feel horrible.  I’ve also been feeling like a stabbing sensation every now and then depending on how I move, so I don’t know if it’s moved or what.  I called this morning and made an appointment for my doctor tomorrow morning, so I’ll let you all know how it goes.  I’m thinking about just getting it taken out and getting on the pill or the patch.  I’m not sure yet.

I’ve been doing a lot of research lately on different types of vitamins.  I found one that I’ve decided to try since I have a lot of stomach problems and really high cholesterol.  It’s called Fenugreek.  It has so many things it can help with.  But I need it for my cholesterol and acid reflux.  So I’m trying it to see how it works.  It can also help with lowering blood sugar, so if you’re diabetic, maybe think about giving it a try?

I’m also trying to eat and be healthier.  Dustin bought us a blender a little over a week ago.  I made smoothies this morning for my breakfast.  I just added vanilla yogurt(fat free),  peaches, strawberries, and mangos.  It was great.  I think tomorrow morning I’m going to try avocadoes and spinach.  It sounds gross to most people, but I am obsessed with those two things.  I eat avocadoes ALL the time. My coffee addiction is back, though.  So far this morning I have had 2 cups.  It makes me so happy.  Also, I’m so happy it’s October.  I really hope that fall weather starts soon.  I have so many long sleeve cute outfits for Elizabeth, and I’m ready to wear leggings and big long sleeve shirts and not burn alive.

I guess I will wrap this up here.  If anyone knows though about REAL work at home jobs, please let me know.  That’s one of my goals.  Online school is another one.  Which I’m working on applying for now.  Also if anyone knows any good smoothie recipes, or just really healthy (cheap) recipes in general, I’d love to talk and learn them!  TIA.  (I also got new LLR Halloween leggings!  Picture below ^_^ )

BNH

 

 

Looking Up.

Elizabeth will be 3 weeks old on Wednesday.  We had her doctor appointment today and she’s doing great!  She already weighs 8 pounds 5.5 ounces.  So that means that in 3 weeks, she has gained 1 pound 4.5 ounces.  I’m so proud of our baby girl.  We are now just formula feeding, which she is doing good with.  She’s a very happy baby.  Her baby acne is driving me crazy.  Our doctor said we could try two things, but it would just go away on its own over time.  She told us we could try giving her a bath everyday and drying the places out, or using aquaphor on them.  So I got some aquaphor baby and I’m going to try that first.

I also had a doctor’s appointment today, but it was an eye exam.  Which I was so happy about, because I haven’t had contacts since I’ve been pregnant because my eyes were drying out so bad.  If you know me, you know I absolutely hate wearing glasses.  Before, I only had an astigmatism in my left eye, now I have it in my right eye, too.  Yay.  My contacts have been ordered, and I also ordered some more glasses(cheapest I could get, Lol.).  They are supposed to be in next week, I’m so excited!  They gave me a pair of contacts to wear until then, so bye bye glasses!  It does feel weird to have contacts in again, though.

In two weeks, we have our month appointment with the doctor.  I’m getting my birth control put in and I’m super nervous.  I’ve only ever used two types of birth control: the pill and the depo shot.  Both of which I did not want to do again because I didn’t like them.. So we’re going with the copper IUD.  I’ve heard really good things about it, so let’s hope for the best!

I’ve lost 20 pounds since I’ve had Elizabeth!  I’m so proud of myself.  I’m already in my old jeans(I only had one pair though).  Luckily, WalMart has their jeans right now for $7.78.  I love them, they are so comfortable.  It feels good to be able to wear anything now and be comfortable.  I do miss being pregnant every now and then, but having my baby girl in my arms is so much better.

BNH

Getting discouraged & scared to be judged

I haven’t been wanting to write anything about this, I’m so worried about being judged by people who think “breast is best” which believe me, I was very determined to exclusively breast feed.  Now I’m just a “fed is best” mom.

I’m sitting here on my couch, while my baby girl sleeps beside me after drinking a couple ounces of Similac Advance formula.  As disappointed and upset that I am, I’m just glad my baby girl is being fed, and is healthy.  She’s 17 days old today, and I’ve been trying and trying to get her to latch.  She won’t at all.  I’ve tried different positions with both sides and still nothing.  I’ve been pumping, but it’s getting so tiring.  The only time she ever seems to spit up, is with my breast milk.  She seems to do so much better with formula.  When I was pregnant, all I talked about was wanting to breast feed.  I read books and did so much research.  Everyone just keeps telling me to keep trying, she will eventually get it.  To try different positions.  But nothing is working, and I’m just so tired.  I hate writing this, and I hate giving up.  I have to do what’s best for me, my baby, and family.  For us, it seems like formula is best.  Maybe our next baby I’ll be able to exclusively breast feed, but for Elizabeth it’s formula.  Things happen and you have to make changes.

People can post their opinions about this, but I’d rather not hear anything about “Just keep trying” or “it’ll get better”.  I’m planning on going back to work in a month or so, and hopefully to college, so to me it’s just better for us to formula feed her.

Thank you everyone for reading, and for understanding.  This isn’t the best post I’ve wrote, it’s early and I’m still super tired, so my thought process isn’t the greatest right now.  But I tried to explain to my best ability why formula is best for us.

BNH

The Ups & Downs of Parenthood

So I know it’s been a while since I have posted anything, the reason being the past month has been super crazy.  Monday, August 21, I was admitted into the hospital at 5pm to be induced.  They started out with a pill that would soften my cervix and get it ready for the Pitocin.  Every four hours, they gave me the pill, which went in vaginally and was not a fun experience.  That night I didn’t dilate at all.  The next morning at 6 am, they started the Pitocin.  By the end of the night, I was finally dilated to a 5.  My contractions were extremely painful, and the doctor recommended that I went ahead and get the epidural that night, around 1-2 in the morning.  I did not enjoy receiving the epidural either, it made me extremely sick for a couple of hours because it dropped my blood pressure lower than it already was.

After the epidural, I finally got some sleep.  My doctor came in early that morning, August 23, around 7-8 and checked my cervix.  Since they had cut the Pitocin off that night around 7, and gave me the epidural, my cervix stopped dilating, and actually went back to a 3.  So back on the Pitocin I went, and I got another pill for my cervix.  Around 1-1:30, my doctor came back to check me and I was dilated for 4 1/2, so she decided to break my water.  Now it was just a waiting game to see when baby girl would arrive.  Around 3, my epidural decided to stop working and I started hurting extremely bad and started having a ton of pressure to push.  The nurse checked me around 3:15 and I was only dilated to a 5.  Dustin and I were very disappointed and upset.  I was in so much pain I was crying and couldn’t breath because I was so hot.  I had about 4 cold wet washcloths on me and Dustin was having to keep a fan on my face.  Around 4:00, I just could not stand the pain anymore so the nurse checked me again, I was dilated to a 8-9 and barely had any cervix left.  Then I couldn’t help but start pushing.

The nurse kept telling me to relax and try not to push, but with every contraction, baby girl was pushing down as hard as she could, it felt like.  The nurse looked down, and could see her head every time I pushed.  Called my doctor, and Elizabeth arrived literally like 10 minutes after the doctor got there.  So around 3:15, I was only dilated to a 5.  At 4:27 pm, I had my beautiful baby girl in my arms.  I pushed about 4 times and she was here.  Dustin was the biggest help and I honestly don’t know if I would have been able to do it if he wasn’t by my side.  The epidural had went out, so I felt everything.  I kept telling them my epidural wasn’t working, but it didn’t seem like the nurse believed me.  Then the doctor started stitching me up and I felt everything.  Then they believed me and had to numb me so she could stitch me.

So, at 4:27pm Elizabeth Nichole made her appearance.  Weighing 7 pounds 1.6 ounces.  20 inches long.  Absolutely beautiful and a spitting image of her daddy.  She was perfect.  Barely cried.  Eats so much.  She latched on perfectly during the skin to skin.  After that though, she only seemed to latch on at night.  After 2 nights in the hospital, we were able to come home.

The first night at home, she was perfect.  Everything was great.  She was eating good, using the bathroom good.  Sleeping good (even though everyone knows newborns don’t like to sleep at night, lol).  Next day, again, everything was great…Then around 1-2 in the afternoon is when mine and Dustin’s lives got completely flipped upside down…

She felt really warm, so I decided to check her temperature.  Under her arm was 100.1 degrees, so I checked her rectally.  That was 100.8.  So of course, we started freaking out.  I completely stripped all her clothes off and put her where the air conditioner could hit her.  Checked her again around 10 minutes, and it was still the same.  I called her pediatrician and she said to take her straight to the hospital.  So we did and they would up transferring us to a big hospital here in TN, Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.  Again, during all this, it was like nothing was wrong with her other than the fever.  She acted like she felt fine, was still eating perfectly.

We have never felt pain like seeing our baby girl getting stuck over and over again because they can’t get an iv in her.  They kept blowing her veins.  Hearing our baby scream and scream just broke our hearts.  I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much.  I still can barely talk about it out loud without crying.  By the time we got to Vanderbilt, she wasn’t running a fever, but they still kept her overnight to start antibiotics while waiting for all of her tests to come back, which they said would take 48 hours.  We wound up staying 4 days and 3 nights.  The 3rd day, they took her off the antibiotics and said that they wanted to watch her off the antibiotics for 24 hours and if she was still doing so well the next morning, we could go home.

Around 7 yesterday morning, they give us our discharge papers, took the iv out of her foot, and told us we could go home.  So we got dressed, packed up all of our stuff, and left.  We got out to the parking garage when I got a phone call from them telling us to come back, that the attending physician wanted to look at her again with the care team.  So 4-5 hours later, they come in and look at her and then tell us they are going to get a second opinion from another part of the hospital.  That took another hour.  Then they come in and tell us that they are wanting to watch her for another 24 hours off the antibiotics to make sure that everything is fine.  Now this is 4 days in the hospital, we had rushed up there, not knowing we were going to stay, so we didn’t know to pack anything.  We literally had nothing except what we wore, and what was in her diaper bag.  We have no idea how to get around Nashville.  Luckily, his sister lives there, so her and her husband went and got us some pajamas and some toiletries.  But we were still in the SAME clothes for 4 days and 3 nights.  I just delivered her, so I’m stitched up and completely swollen to the point where I can barely move.  They were telling us that they wanted us to stay for another night, even though they had already discharged us!  Again, she had not ran a fever since we had arrived there, and all her tests came back good.  The only test they were not able to get was the lumbar puncture, because the first time they did it they couldn’t get any fluid and they left a big bruise on her spine.

So, people can judge all they want, but we decided to go home.  We live 2 hours away from where we were.  We were barely eating because they weren’t providing us with anything.  They were letting me get meals because I was breastfeeding, but they wouldn’t let Dustin have anything.  The only thing he could even get from the panty was water and coffee.  The first night, she was only in her diaper because they didn’t offer to give her anything to wear, and we didn’t have anything for her because again, we rushed up there not knowing we were going to have to stay.  Thankfully, his cousin Nicole was able to come up and bring us some clothes for her.

We had her one week doctor appointment today, and the doctor said that she was perfect.  She now weighs 7 pounds 14 ounces.  She is eating 2-3 ounces every time she eats, which is now around every 3-4 hours.  She is mainly on breastmilk, but we supplement with formula once or twice a day.  I’m having to pump because I guess from all the stress from the hospital and she wasn’t completely used to latching since she was only 3 days old when we had to go, she doesn’t want to latch at all anymore.  I’m getting around 4-5 ounces in total every time I pump.  I’m so proud she’s doing good, and me and Dustin made the right choice yesterday when we decided to take her home.  We explained everything to her pediatrician, and she even said that the way we were treated wasn’t right.  I’m just so happy our baby girl is healthy.

Now,  I’m not saying anything bad about the hospital.  Every hospital has their days.  But I do NOT appreciate how the doctors treated us.  The nurses were great and tried to do everything they could for us and for her.  But how are you going to discharge someone, and then decide to make them stay after they have already left the building?

But like I said, we are home now, and our baby girl is doing great.  She is sleeping better, she’s calmer.  She is comfortable being home instead of being in the hospital being poked and prodded on.

Sorry for such a long post, but I just wanted to share mine and Dustin’s experience this week.  Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and I would love everyone’s input.

BNH