Marriage; It takes two.

It seems like almost every time I get on my Facebook, there is a post about someone’s marriage ending, or someone complaining about their husband or wife, putting the blame on the other one, blah, blah, blah.  Well, I’m here to put my two cents in about the matter, and to brag (of course!).

If you don’t think that you can put up  with the other person for the rest of your life, through the good times, and the horrible times then don’t waste their time or yours saying “I do.”  I hear a lot of people badmouth what the other one has done, or hasn’t done.  In my head all I can think about is, it takes two people to make a marriage work.  Not just one.  If both of you aren’t trying, then why are you married?  That’s not a marriage.

No marriage is perfect.  Every couple will always have their ups and downs.  That’s not what I’m trying to say here.  What I’m trying to say is that you have to be a team and work together.

Lucky for me, I have an amazing husband who is also an amazing father.  Want to know how we do it?  Communication.  We talk CONSTANTLY.  We both work, almost everyday.  I’m at home more often since I am only part time right now due to the pregnancy.  We call each other at least once a day just to say I love you and see how our days are going.  We help each other.  Just because I am wife and mom, doesn’t mean that he expects me to be the sole caretaker of our home and our daughter.  He gets two days off a week, and on his days off, he cleans , cooks supper, gives our daughter her bath and also takes care of me, letting me relax.  Even when he gets home after a long day of work, he asks me if I need anything, and he will help me clean up after supper.  Now, I do believe that the husband eats first.  I’ve always believed that.  The way we do it though, since he doesn’t get home until after 7 on the weekdays, and our daughter is already asleep by then, I feed her supper and I wait until he gets home so we can both eat together.  I love our quality time eating supper together, we get to talk all about our day.  On days that he’s off work, I fix our daughter’s plate and let it cool off, have him fix his, then I feed our daughter and then fix me a plate while he keeps her entertained.  This works for us.  It may not work for anyone else, but that’s what we do.

For me, the key to a great marriage is communication and being a team.  WORK TOGETHER.  Social media gets in the way and causes problems, because people tend to lean towards facebook to post all of their problems and that causes drama in a relationship.  Talk it out to one another, don’t post it for everyone else to see.  To me, that’s disrespectful and hurtful.  But of course, that’s just my opinion!

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Not Enough Hours In The Day

Work all day, come home to a dirty house so I need to get that clean, cook supper, feed my daughter then get her cleaned up and ready for bed, bedtime routine for her, then work on schoolwork until my husband gets home, eat supper with him, spend some time with him, then bedtime and do it all over again.

Days seem like they just keep getting shorter, there is not enough time in the day to get anything that I would like done.  I love to journal, but I maybe write in my journal once or twice every FEW weeks. Why?  ‘Cause I barely have enough time to take a shower, let alone try to write in my journal.

My house is a disaster, not because I want it to be.  Haha.  I hate looking at a mess.  But when you’re 7 weeks pregnant, work all day, and then have to get your 9 month old from daycare and entertain her until bedtime, you’re whooped when it comes time to clean the house.  Some days I honestly think about hiring a housekeeper for once a week, then I think, no, I don’t have the money for that, and I don’t want to feel that lazy.

So today, I’ve made a plan to sit down, separate all the chores out, look at my work and school schedule, and figure out a way to make it work where my house doesn’t look like a tornado hit it 24/7 and I’m always behind on my schoolwork.

Now, we have two house dogs, and so throwing them in the mix, lol.  They are spiteful when my husband and I go to work and will chew up any garbage that is left sitting out, so if I am rushing around in the morning before leaving for work and forget to pick up stuff, you know what I’m going to find when I get home… garbage all over my living room and hallway.  Hopefully my husband will remember to close the bedroom and bathroom door before he leaves for work so that I don’t have to worry about garbage being everywhere in those rooms, too.

Life is just hectic, and I know it always will be.  But, there has to be some kind of way to get it to slow down so I can catch my breath and make my house look good.  Haha. Like that is actually going to happen.  I can always dream, right?

If anyone has any suggestions on how to manage everything, I’d be highly interested.  I am always on pinterest trying to find new ways to schedule stuff in so I can get more done in the day, but with this pregnancy, I am extremely tired and just have to push myself to even get out of bed at any point in the day.

My Experience with PPD

Since May is Postpartum Depression Awareness Month, I thought that I would share my own story and my experience with PPD.

As you all know, my labor with Elizabeth did not go as planned.  My pregnancy was great, I was so in love with my child that I was carrying, and I couldn’t wait to meet her.  I had my birth plan all done, and planned the way that I wanted it.  Well, it didn’t work out that way.  I had started contracting between 33-35 weeks, staying 2-3 minutes apart.  But I was only dilating as far as a 2.  So when I was 39 weeks and 1 day, they induced me. I was thinking that it was going to go quick, and I would be holding my precious baby in my arms the next day.  Boy, was I wrong.  I went in on Monday to be induced, and I didn’t have her until Wednesday evening.  I was in labor for 46 hours, and I was in horrible pain.  They gave me my epidural too early, and it stopped working 4-5 hours before I had Elizabeth.  So I had no medicine when it was time to push, and when she was born and when the doctor was stitching me.  But by the time she was stitching me, I was so in awe of my perfect little baby that I didn’t care about the pain that was going on down there.

I wanted to breastfeed, but Elizabeth was having a hard time latching, so we were having to supplement with formula because she wouldn’t quit screaming when we would try to latch her so she could eat.  And I was just so exhausted that I didn’t even want to bother with it.  By the time we left the hospital though, she would latch for a few minutes to breastfeed, and that to me, was better than nothing, so I had started pumping too.

The second day at home, she started feeling really warm, so I checked her temperature rectally, and it was 100.8.  I didn’t freak out at that time, I stayed calm and took her clothes off and waiting 5 minutes.  Took her temperature again, and it was the same.  So I called the doctor, and she sent us to the emergency room.  Well, the emergency room sent us by ambulance to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital.  Imagine, my daughter is only 3 days old, being rushed to Vanderbilt in an ambulance, looking helpless in her carseat, and I couldn’t do anything.  When we got to Vanderbilt, they rushed me and Dustin out of the room so that they could do tests, and we weren’t allowed to be in there.  By that time I was freaking out and I couldn’t stop crying.  I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know what was going on with my baby girl.  Finally, they let us back there to be with her, and I decided that I would try to relax her by breastfeeding, well, she wouldn’t latch at all, and it was that time that my milk would decide to come in, so I was covered in breastmilk, and didn’t have any change of clothes or anything because we didn’t even think to pack anything to take to the hospital except for her diaper bag.  We stayed at the hospital for 4 days and 3 nights and we had to fight them to let us go home.  I was getting extremely sick from just having her, I was so swollen that I could barely move.  I was pumping, and at that time I was doing great at pumping enough for her.  We got home, and I continued pumping for a week or two, then she got to where she wanted more, and I just couldn’t keep up.  I wound up just putting her completely on formula, and as upset as I was that she wasn’t on breastmilk anymore, formula was the best decision for our daughter.

A couple days after we had gotten home from Vanderbilt, Dustin had to go back to work.  He worked thirds at a factory.  I was doing alright, Elizabeth was pretty much on a schedule at night of waking up every 4 hours to eat and get a diaper change.  I thought that I was doing great.  Then one day, Dustin came up to me and asked me “why is she always in her swing during the day?”  I realized that right after I would change her, or feed her, I would put her right back in her swing instead of enjoying the time cuddling with my baby.  I didn’t want to hold her, and I didn’t want to clean the house.  I just wanted to lay on the couch and sleep.  I barely ate.  I worried mainly about her and Dustin eating and I didn’t care about myself.  I didn’t care to take a shower, or anything.  I was getting such bad migraines that I just wanted to crawl in a hole and never leave.  So my 6 weeks postpartum appointment, I talked to my doctor about what Dustin had mentioned to me, and she said that it seemed like I was going through PPD and she put me on some anti depressants.  Well, that didn’t work.  I went that whole month just getting worse.  When I went back she changed my medicine, and changed my diet regimen, and I got better every day.

I still live with it, some days are better than others.  I still take my anti depressant, and lucky for me, I am on one that is safe for pregnancy.  I am continuously doing my research on PPD so that way with this baby, I can look for signs and hopefully I won’t fall as deep as I did with Elizabeth.

So that’s my story.  I would love to hear some other momma’s stories if you don’t care to share!  Remember, we’re all in this together, no one is perfect.

Now Welcoming…

BABY HAGGARD #2!!!!!!

We just found out this past week that we are expecting our second baby!  We are so excited.  I found out early, so I will be 5 weeks tomorrow May 16.  Baby Haggard is due January 2019.  My first doctor appointment isn’t until May 31.

Elizabeth will be 9 months old on the 23rd.  She now has 6 teeth , and is trying to walk.  She can grab ahold of anything and pull herself up, and we just had to lower her mattress in her crib because she was trying to climb out.  Our silly girl.  She is learning so fast.

So, Mother’s Day was this past Sunday.  Last year I made a Mother’s Day post, but I didn’t get to this year.  Life stays so hectic now.  I had a great Mother’s Day.  Dustin bought me a necklace with three hearts (for him, Elizabeth, and Baby Haggard), an ice cream maker, and some new oven mitts and pot holders.  My mom got me a jewelry set with Elizabeth’s birthstone.  Then at church all the women got umbrellas, and our nursery teacher got me a cute book.  I am so lucky to have such amazing mother’s in my life that are helping me and that have helped me on my journey through motherhood.  I am so blessed.

I am continuously getting further through my college career.  I have 34.5 credits right now.  Out of 90 I think.  I’m so proud of myself for getting this far with everything that has been going on.

I am so nervous about having babies so close in age.  Elizabeth will be 18 months old when this baby is born.  I am happy, but scared.  I’m worried I’m not going to be the best mother.  That I’m not going to be able to give them both the attention that they deserve.  I just got a book off of amazon called Twice Blessed that is supposed to be about how to handle your family becoming a family of four.  If anyone has any advice, PLEASE  share with me before I become a nervous wreck.

We don’t get to go to church a lot anymore because of my work hours, so I try to do my own studies at home.  I just got a pregnancy devotional journal.  It starts at 5 weeks and goes all the way to your birth story.  It was worth the money, even though it wasn’t a lot.  I honestly wasn’t expecting anything like what I have received.

I’m still into the young living essential oils, I’m trying to make time for them, it’s just taking a while to manage my time.  I have so much going on, that those are honestly one of the last things on my mind.

I have had my blog for a year now!  I’m so excited!  I’m proud that I have kept it up this long.  I know I don’t post as much as I would like on here, and I promise to change that.  I promise to try to post once a week, if possible.  If not, at least once every two weeks.

Always Remember: Where There is Rain, There is a Rainbow

The past month, maybe longer, has been super hectic.  I’ve had somedays where I have to sit back and just stop what I’m doing and relax, which is really hard for me because I just want to go, go, go.  With school, work, Elizabeth, and my normal wifely(house) duties *lol*, my life is BEYOND hectic.  This post may make some people mad, because I’m going to be real with everyone today.  I know I have made a post about mom shaming already, and this isn’t going to be a post like that.  Part of this post is going to touch on judgmental mothers.  Something that there is too much of.  But I will get back to that later.

I have been working my a$$ off recently at school and at work, and guess what?  All that hard work pays off.  I have made the Dean’s List for every class I have taken so far, and I have received a raise at work!  I’m contemplating asking for more hours, but I would have to sit down with my schedule first and ask myself where I would have the time and try to make time for the rest of my busy life.  Pinterest has been helping me a lot lately, being a working mom.  My house is a disaster area.  I keep the living room and the kitchen and Elizabeth’s room clean.  Our bedroom and our bathroom are horrible right now because I just don’t have the time.  But I keep laundry and dishes done, and as of now, that’s all I’m worried with .  We are still being overran with ants, but I’m working on that problem.  It is slowly getting better.  I’ve been able to read a lot more than normal.  I’ve been taking at least an hour to myself a day, whenever Elizabeth goes to bed.  During that time, I read, and I do some bible study.  I also try to do a lot of reading on my weekends.

Elizabeth turned 8 months old yesterday.  8 MONTHS OLD?!?!  Where did my newborn baby go??  I can’t believe she is already 8 months.  She is trying to crawl, and she’s trying to talk.  She loves any kind of food you give her, but she absolutely loves graham crackers and strawberry apple puffs.  She sleeps in her crib all night, only waking up once, maybe twice for a bottle.  The transition to her crib was a lot easier than I thought it would be, thankfully.  This mom doesn’t know what to do with all the sleep she’s getting. Lol. Don’t get me wrong, I am BEYOND thankful, but it’s still weird.  It takes some time to get used to it.  She loves car rides now, and she loves it when daddy is home.  Every Sunday is her day with daddy when mommy has to work, and she absolutely loves it.

April 12, I had my birth control removed.  It was so easy and didn’t hurt at all.  I had been having a lot of pain with it, I thought I had gotten another cyst on my ovary, but I guess that wasn’t it, because I haven’t hurt at all since I have had it removed.  So I guess that was the problem.  Either way, I’m glad to have it out.

LATER:::

So it’s a few days since I’ve started this blog.  A lot has already happened.  The other night while I was asleep, the power went out in half of our house:  Our hallway, Elizabeth’s room, bathroom, and our bedroom.  We still have power in our living room and kitchen.  They have been here working on it for the past two days and still haven’t fixed it.  They are supposed to come back tomorrow when I get off work to check our wires underneath our house.  Apparently, our hot water heater leaked onto some electrical box underneath our house.  They removed that box, since it shouldn’t have been there in the first place.  But they can’t figure out why the power is our in half of our house.  It’s driving me crazy though.  I have an essay due tomorrow in my Business Law class and I haven’t even had the chance to start it because I have been so busy dealing with everything else.  I’ve been having to sleep on my loveseat because there is no airflow in our bedroom.  I woke up with my back absolutely KILLING me.  I’ve been binging New Girl on Netflix.

Back to what I was talking about at the beginning of this post.  I’m so sick and tired of stay at home moms complaining about how it’s so hard being a stay at home mom.  You don’t hear working moms complaining about how hard it is to work AND be a mom.  I mean, it’s not easy.  I work all day, come home and clean up, get Elizabeth from daycare, get her supper ready and have playtime and do our bedtime routine, cook supper for Dustin and I, work on schoolwork, and then spend time with my husband before I go to bed.  It’s hardwork, but it’s my life and I love it.  I would not change it for anything.  I love my life.  I love that I’m finally going to college, and my life is finally what I want it to be.  No, it’s not perfect.  It’s perfectly imperfect.  To me, don’t complain about your life.  Fix it.  There is no point in complaining.  If something isn’t going the way you want it to, change it.

So there it is.  I’m finally going to post this!

 

#LifeHappensToTheBestOfUs

Oh man, where to even begin??  Life has been so hectic the past couple of weeks.  Right now, I am working 12 days a week in a row, off 2 days(maybe), then I do the 12 days over again.  I enjoy my job, so that doesn’t bother me.  I love it, I love all of my patients.  I just haven’t had a lot of time lately, so this is why it’s been so long since I have been able to write a blog post.  I have sat down and wrote some, then deleted my post because it just wasn’t right.  A few new things have happened since I’ve started working more.

I have started selling Young Living Essential Oils.  I have only had my starter kit for about a couple of weeks now, so I am still learning about them, myself.  I’m working on kicking toxins out of our home.  It’s a process, but I can already see a difference.  I’ve been sleeping so much better by diffusing Lavender and Frankinsence at night.  I diffuse Lemon and Peppermint when I’m studying (which is diffusing right now, behind me).  I diffuse Stress Away (my favorite) when I’m, of course, stressed out!  Lol.  Purification in our living room/kitchen because we have dogs and that way our house doesn’t smell like it!

I have also started to use a planner daily, and meal plan monthly.  It helps so much when it comes to getting groceries and saving money!  I use the Happy Planner, and it is so amazing.  I will post pictures on my next post.  Also, I will post some of my recipes.

I’m hoping to start couponing at some point in the near future.  Elizabeth is getting older, and going through a lot more clothes, toys, etc.  I would love to be able to get stuff cheaper. Lol.  If anyone has any experience in couponing and has some advice to give me, that would be awesome!  I am wanting to start a bullet journal, also.

Here in the near future, I am going to start making candles and selling them, too.  Those baby food jars stack up! Lol.

So, Elizabeth will be 7 months on the 23rd, and she’s growing so fast.  My baby girl sits up on her own, perfectly.  She’s trying to crawl.  She loves baby food, her favorite being fruit, but she also likes avocados and sweet potatoes.  She loves mixed vegetables.  She loves playing with anything she can get her hands on, and she loves giving kisses.  Her favorite part of bedtime is her bath.  Splashing and soaking momma.  🙂  She also really loves story time.

I’m going to wrap this up here.  I have to go back to work in a few hours, and I need to work on some more schoolwork!

 

-BNH

#TiredAF

Tomorrow will be the end of my first week of my new job.  Let’s just say, I am EXHAUSTED.  It’s been over a year since I have worked a full time job, and it’s taking some getting used to.  But I absolutely love it.  I am working every day until next Saturday, but it’s worth it.  I love being able to make a difference.

Yesterday, Elizabeth turned 6 months old!  She goes and gets her shots in a week.  She’s so chunky and so independent.  She loves just sitting on the floor playing with her toys.  She has two teeth, and she’s in 12-18 month clothes.  She’s spoiled rotten.  But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  She loves mixed vegetables, and avocados.  She loves anything with apples and bananas, but she doesn’t understand real bananas.  She is sitting up on her own for the most part.  She loves when her daddy is home and plays with her.  She has the most beautiful eyelashes.  She’s feeling better this week, she was on breathing treatments and steroids for a week, but her breathing is finally better.

 

So I have a question for everyone.  How in the world do I get rid of black ants?  We are overran with them in our house.  It happened last year in the spring.  They drive me insane.  We don’t leave food out, and they still just swarm us.   I spray and spray and they always come back.  I’m getting bit by them constantly.  Luckily, Elizabeth hasn’t gotten bit by any, but I’m a paranoid mama and I want them GONE.  The ant baits don’t really seem to work either, but I’m going to buy some of them and set them in EVERY room so I can try to get rid of these damn things.  UGHHH.  Lord help me.