Getting discouraged & scared to be judged

I haven’t been wanting to write anything about this, I’m so worried about being judged by people who think “breast is best” which believe me, I was very determined to exclusively breast feed.  Now I’m just a “fed is best” mom.

I’m sitting here on my couch, while my baby girl sleeps beside me after drinking a couple ounces of Similac Advance formula.  As disappointed and upset that I am, I’m just glad my baby girl is being fed, and is healthy.  She’s 17 days old today, and I’ve been trying and trying to get her to latch.  She won’t at all.  I’ve tried different positions with both sides and still nothing.  I’ve been pumping, but it’s getting so tiring.  The only time she ever seems to spit up, is with my breast milk.  She seems to do so much better with formula.  When I was pregnant, all I talked about was wanting to breast feed.  I read books and did so much research.  Everyone just keeps telling me to keep trying, she will eventually get it.  To try different positions.  But nothing is working, and I’m just so tired.  I hate writing this, and I hate giving up.  I have to do what’s best for me, my baby, and family.  For us, it seems like formula is best.  Maybe our next baby I’ll be able to exclusively breast feed, but for Elizabeth it’s formula.  Things happen and you have to make changes.

People can post their opinions about this, but I’d rather not hear anything about “Just keep trying” or “it’ll get better”.  I’m planning on going back to work in a month or so, and hopefully to college, so to me it’s just better for us to formula feed her.

Thank you everyone for reading, and for understanding.  This isn’t the best post I’ve wrote, it’s early and I’m still super tired, so my thought process isn’t the greatest right now.  But I tried to explain to my best ability why formula is best for us.

BNH

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