I watch my dog (who has just had 5 puppies) run away from her puppies as they are trying to nurse. Why? They have to learn to eat on their own, not continue to feed from her. They need to grow big and strong and be able to fend for their selves. Much like us. I think about this a lot now that I am pregnant. Granted I think about a lot of things constantly, but that’s not the point right now.
I now know why my parents acted the way that they did when I was growing up. No, I’m not ready to see my baby, that I haven’t even got to meet yet, grow up. But I know that she’s going to, and I know it’s my job to prepare her for her future. I’m not sure if I’m mentally prepared for that. Right now, I cry at the drop of a hat.
My parents and my family together as a whole, still continue to help me and Dustin whenever we need it. Being an adult is hard. Keeping up with the housework, the bills, the yard. Remembering to walk the dogs x amount of times a day, taking the garbage can out to the side of the road on Wednesday night so they can come get it on Thursday. Trying to plan out what to cook for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because you are trying to save money, and eat healthier because you have a human being growing inside you. Sometimes it’s difficult, and I will be the first to tell you, being pregnant, I have found out that it’s very stressful and trying to get stuff done and done on time.
No, I don’t have a job right now, and Dustin is working thirds to support us. I hate him working thirds, but he will do whatever he has to do. I love when he comes home in the mornings though and looks at me and smiles. No matter how bad of a night he has had, he always comes in the house with a smile. He always asks me how I’m feeling and if I need him to do anything. I hate him doing stuff for me, because he works all the time. But sometimes, I’m not feeling well and he will do the dishes without me asking, or he will cook lunch and clean up the house. It’s the little things he does, that reminds me why I fell in love with him in the first place.
I know this post is kind of all over the place, but I have a lot of thoughts running through my head and I’ve been trying to put those thoughts into words, so this is what I got. Thanks again to the people who take time out of their day to read my random thoughts.
Brandi N Haggard.